


pastimes

by maxbegone



Series: Schitt's Creek ficlets [1]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friendship, Missing Scene, Rose Apothecary (Schitt's Creek), Wine, and i made up two characters, david stevie and patrick down a bottle of wine and tell stories, mentions of nudity, there is wine involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxbegone/pseuds/maxbegone
Summary: It's after hours at Rose Apothecary. There's a bottle of wine, some untold stories, and Stevie never helps.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Series: Schitt's Creek ficlets [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684510
Comments: 1
Kudos: 111





	pastimes

**Author's Note:**

> A ficlet I wrote in like an hour. I just needed to write some missing scenes, and badly.

Sitting in the store long after closing with a bottle of wine had become somewhat of a weekly ritual. Sometimes it was just David and Patrick sitting together after their closing duties, other times Stevie joined. On the rare occasion, Alexis was there, too, flitting about the floor and hurtling suggestions at David. (“I’m still your brand consultant, David. I’m also your sister who has great ideas, so you _should_ listen to me.”)

Tonight Stevie was there, her bad long since discarded on the floor. She had initially suggested a rousing game of Never Have I Ever, but David quickly vetoed it knowing the game would just be pinned against him and he’d wind up too drunk to remember how to unlock his phone. Instead they had ventured into sharing untold stories with each other.

David was leaning on Patrick’s shoulder as he told them the story of how he broke his wrist when he was nine.

“So I don’t get it,” Stevie perked up. “Your cousin just pushed you off the slide?”

Patrick sipped his wine. “No, Collin dared me to jump off the slide, and I was about to. You know, because I was nine and an idiot. But right before I did, his brother Alex decided to push me and I fell off the side of it.” 

David winced. “What kind of asshole kid would do that?”

“We were nine, he was thirteen,” Patrick shrugged. “He was grounded for three weeks and I couldn’t play baseball that season. My aunt even made him write me an apology letter which I think I still have.” 

“Why would you keep that,” David gawked.

“Because I can laugh at it now. I’m just lucky I didn’t hit my head, because I was _this_ close to hitting a metal pole.” He pushed his fingers together and screwed up his face in emphasis.

Stevie was on the edge of her seat now. “So did you ever get back at him? Like, did you hit him in the face on purpose while having a catch?” David thought she was way too into this, but he was just as curious. 

“No, me hitting him in the face was an accident, but I guess that could count. I also egged his car, once.”

Stevie looked slightly disappointed by the response. She sighed. “Well at least you did it, even if it was unintentional.” She turned to David. “What about you, David? Have you ever broken a bone?”

He rolled his eyes. “Alexis dropped suitcase on my foot one summer when we were in the Hamptons. I never wanted to kill her more than in that moment. She claimed that my foot was in the way of her bag.” 

Patrick failed to stifle a laugh. “How old were you?”

“Twenty…Twenty-one,” he shrugged. 

“And how dramatic about it were you?” Stevie leaned in. 

David squinted at her. “That’s presumptuous.” 

“No it’s not.” She looked him right in the eye, smiling over the rim of her glass. “It’s predictable.” 

David continued to glare at her. 

Stevie lowered her glass. “Fine, since you’re so clearly offended,” she mocked. “would it make you feel better if I changed the subject and told you something super embarrassing?”

David sat up straighter. “That depends. Is it embarrassing enough that I can bring it up and get you to stop bugging me, and can I tell Alexis.” 

Stevie ignored him. “Do you remember Emir?”

“That jerk who led you on? Yeah.”

“Okay, so when he and I were seeing each other, I was taking some…photos in the office back at the motel. And your dad walked in on me.” 

David yelled. “Oh my god!” 

Stevie hung her head. “So your saw me topless. And then Emir send me a photo back, and Mr. Rose and Roland managed to see it.” 

“Oh my fucking _god,_ Stevie!” 

David looked over at Patrick whose mouth was in an open, strangely-amused smile. He whipped back around to look at Stevie whose face was red. 

“My dad saw you naked!” He was yelling again. “Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?”

Stevie gawked at him. “You? What about me? He walked in on me!” 

“It’s gross!” He looked back at Patrick. “Can you say something, please?”

“No, no, I’m not contributing to this one,” he muttered. His face was still frozen in shock. 

“Well I’m going to throw up tonight, then.” David crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I was also pantsed in gym class in high school, if that makes it better,” Stevie tries. 

David sighs. “Not completely, but that is a funny thing to imagine.”

Stevie shook her head and looked over at Patrick, who was squeezing David’s shoulder. 

“David, c’mon,” Patrick tried, voice a little caught in his throat. “Laugh a little. Even though it is…scarring. Geez, Stevie.” 

She waved him off. 

“Excuse me, I laugh at Stevie all the time.” 

“I don’t think I said ‘at.”

“I mean, that’s fair,” Stevie declared. “I laugh at you, too. Like that time you and I got super high and you couldn’t figure out how to open the door to the lobby. I was nearly on the ground."

“To be fair, we _were_ high.” David smiled at the foggy memory. “It’s a push door,” he said to Patrick. 

“All this aside, nothing is funnier to me than you shooting that turkey in the neck.” 

Stevie was looking directly at him, and David was sure his face was frozen. His gaze flitted over to Patrick who sputtered his wine back into the glass.

His eyebrows shot up. “You did _what?”_

“Does…Does he not know about this?” Stevie looked between them both. 

“No, I don’t.” Patrick turned to fully face him, clearly interested in this story. “David. When did you shoot a turkey?” 

David paused, mouth open. He might have forgotten about it. Just a little bit. Like, enough to repress it and not think about it daily. Or late at night.

_Fucking Stevie._

“It was Stevie’s fault,” he gestured widely toward her, his voice high. “It was our first year living here, and she’s manipulative.” 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t warp my head around you using a gun.” Patrick was giggling now. 

“Oh it was a rifle,” Stevie confirmed. “And he was wearing full camouflage. Very sexy.” 

“I’m sure it was very sexy,” Patrick agreed.

David pinched his fingers together at Stevie. “Okay, you _shh.”_

“Keep going, I want to hear all about this.” 

“Roland holds this turkey shoot every year. Or he used to. Anyway, Stevie roped me into going. Ronnie was there, and so was Bob. And I thought my dad was going to pass out when I told him that I was going. I was really…nonchalant about it.” He winced a little at the memory.

Patrick looked at him. “You know, I feel like that was speaking to something in your subconscious.” 

“Hey, I was lonely and jaded and Stevie was cocky,” he defended.

Stevie raised her eyebrows. “And now?”

“You’re still cocky.” 

“Yeah, but you love me,” she teased. 

“I’ll have you know that I didn’t sleep for three days after that.” 

“I just never would have expected you to go hunting, David,” Patrick mused, recrossing his legs. “Out of the two of us, you’d think it would be me.” 

“Have you gone hunting before?” 

“No! That’s not something my family was ever into.” 

“Right, because you guys hosted family barbecues and weekly game nights,” David poked at his side. 

“Yes, that’s exactly right.”

“I guess this whole thing makes me less predictable, then?” David shimmied his shoulders a little and smiled at them both. 

Stevie smirked, “Oh no, you’re still _very_ predictable.” 

“Shush.” 

“I agree.” Patrick matched her smirk and downed the rest of his wine, fully ignoring David’s scoff. 

“But I will tell you,” he continued, sliding an arm around his waist. “You do keep surprising me, David.” 

David leaned into the hold, smiling. “Oh, well in that case…” He kissed him, bringing his hand up to cup Patrick’s cheek.

“God, if you two are going to do that, I’m leaving.” 

David pulled back just enough. “Bye, then!” 

He ignored the heavy pour of Stevie refilling her glass. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at maxbegone.tumblr.com


End file.
